27/07/2010. I have known for a few weeks now but today it all got serious. CANCER. There I’ve said it.
I had a CT scan last Friday and today I went to the hospital to discuss the findings. I already knew I had bowel cancer, I already knew we had a plan of action – keyhole surgery, remove the bad bit, put it back together and Bob’s your uncle. Today the consultant told me we need a more cunning plan, one with options, alternatives, plan Bs and plan Cs.
“There are two dark shadows on your liver.” My head caved in on itself. “There are two dark shadows on your liver.” The words sunk in and like the vortex of a sinking ship the words pulled me under with them. I gulped for air, breathed deep and thought right no more of that – there is a battle to be fought here. The consultation continued, plan B and plan C were revealed. It looks like the shadowy bits on the liver can be cut out (plan B), if not Chemotherapy (plan C). Plan D exists too which is plan B followed by Plan C. It was at this point that I decided we would fight this like a military campaign and hey the Yanks aren’t involved so maybe we can win!
The consultant began to elaborate on the campaign plans and things looked up. The battle will be fought in two waves. First the bowel will be secured and the nasty bit safely removed. This skirmish begins with admission to hospital on Sunday with the battle itself being fought on Monday. Home leave being planned for Thursday / Friday. The key hole surgery should allow a quick recovery so that the second wave of the campaign can begin.
There is a strategic team of liver specialists who will be involved in the War Room behind our lines so to speak. Armed with information from the CT scan, the biopsy of the bowel cancer and what the consultant can see when he looks at the liver while defeating the bowel cancer, this team will decide on how the second wave of the campaign will play out. If it is another surgical war then the battleground will move to Birmingham where a crack team of liver surgeons can get to grips with the guerrilla shadows in my liver. If not then the chemo comes into play.
It’s good to know that we have plans C, B and D but one battle at a time and Monday is the start of the first battle. Meanwhile, I’ve spoken to work and I wont be working till after the operation. They have been great and are fully behind this campaign battle. They know I need some home leave before the first battle, it may be a wee while before I feel as fit as this again.
So how do I feel? Detached I guess. I’m on a rollercoaster ride and there is no jumping off either we crash into the rocks or we come to a safe stop. I’m just keeping my eyes peeled for the safe stop!
Why blog this? Yes I know it’s a bit morbid but I’m told it’s good therapy, face it, fight it get those shadows out in the open and it will do you the world of good. Right now I think this line of thought is right, but also right now the worst I’ve had is a few things bigger than I’d like placed where the sun don’t shine and about 6 needles for blood samples. God why are my veins so hard to find and why are my arms so hairy where they stick the plasters afterwards? Ouch!
So pop in say hello and smile because smiling is big in this household right now! 🙂