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Life Blog – Nostalgia

My Mum is with us this weekend and she brought a few old photos with her of her wedding to my Dad. My Dad died when I was 26 but he has been the biggest influence on my life. He is the yardstick I measure myself against. Simply put he was a gentleman. He worked hard, he played fair and he always set a good example.

He died of cancer, the same cancer I have. It tried to strip him of his dignity at the end as this thing does, but it failed and he died a gentleman. 

These photos remind me of the strength and courage that he always showed as he lived his life. He had ambition and with Mum’s help he carved out a great life for us all.

I clean my shoes most days because you should and I think of him. Because of him  I know when I have done good and I know when I have fallen short. I guess I’m just thinking out loud here. I think my Dad would have liked me to be a bit braver when the monkey sat on my lap, but either way he loved me.



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Life Blog – Four Cycles in on the New Cancer Drug

As said previously, on the 23rd December I started on a new cancer drug. One that works by blocking the signal to the cancer cells that tells them to replicate. The side effect is a spotty face and if rumour is true then the spottier you are the better the drug is working. Well my face got pretty spotty very quickly!


I have now had my fourth cycle of this new treatment. Before the treatment I had blood tests and a consultation with my consultant. It was good to see a happy consultant who was keen to show us a graph of my CEA indicator, which is a cancer marker in the blood. Sometime back (about 18 months ago) when I was told that I was terminally ill and that my treatment now would not be about cure but life extension, this marker had risen from 2.5 to 12. Towards the end of last year, the chemo stopped working and the indicator rose to 85! Then I had the glass bead treatment in my liver and after a rest from the chemo I began this new drug.


The graph he showed us revealed a dramatic drop back to 12.5 and the consultant was very pleased with this. So were me and Peanut! Better still, I feel so much better than I did at Christmas. I no longer need the morphine I was on, though it was an experience weaning myself off it! I had one night of very severe depression, which was so out of character for me, as depression really hasn’t been a feature of my campaign against the Big C. Anyway I’m off the morphine now. I have also been given antibiotics for the spotty face and they are working really well too so it’s good news on that front, though to be fair I always thought it a small price to pay if the treatment worked!


Time now then for a bit of fun. We recently had a lovely break at Langley Castle in Northumberland and we have now booked the time off work for our holidays in France this year, which will be in March, May, July and August – fingers crossed then that I stay well for all of those! Having things to look forward to is vital. It allows us to look to the future and see the fun and not worry about where it is ultimately heading.


When you look ahead, find the sunny horizon.