Living with the Big C has a lot of honeymoon periods and lots of knock backs. It is a journey through life and a reflection of life itself. It has a beginning, a middle and an end. Life is births, marriages and death and life on the Big C train journey really is just life itself. However, it must be life on psychedelic drugs because everything is so vivid and real. The daffodils are more yellow, the love is stronger and more powerful, and the wonder that is life, is all the more palpable precisely because its linear essence is more obviously confronted.
Today my CT scan was a knock back day. The tumours that previously were smashed to a pulp have regrouped, fought back and come back. A one inch tumour in my liver and two tiny dots in my lungs. The chemotherapy regime I was on is no longer working. If Surgery was plan A, and Chemo plan B, my life then is a journey to try and reach Plan Z.
Plan C then will be a change of drugs. This will almost certainly mean a return to the PIC line in my arm as it will be infused over a few hours followed by pump infusion over the next 48 hours. In truth it is more intrusive than the chemotherapy by tablet regime I have been on for the last God knows how long. But if it buys time then let’s do it. I recently watched The Second Exotic Marigold Hotel and the poignant moment for me was when near the end one of the wonderful old dears turned the famous saying, “There’s no time like the present” upside down, and said quietly and with understanding, “There’s no present like time”. It is our greatest gift and we should use our gift well.
So… Well I am not noble, I am not a one for raising millions for cancer research, I give my donations and I try to live with the Big C with cheer, but that’s it, so instead I try to fill every second of my gift of time, with fun and love and laughter and we do this by planning adventures and projects in the future so we do not fear it but embrace the fun it promises.
Project One then is to redecorate our main bedroom. The decorator is stripping the walls as I write and inspired by our trips to Venice in recent years we are doing a watered down interpretation of Venetian Rococo style, you can get the idea from our Pinterest Wall on this here. I have to say I am pleased with the Murano Glass chandelier and this style will better suit our house, which is Victorian but built in a style that is a cross between the Victorian Gothic Revival style and the Regency style similar to what you see in Cheltenham, Brighton and London. Yep, I am excited to be throwing in a bit of Italian inspiration into this mix.
This will keep us amused while we count down to a holiday in the South of France in May, which will be a balanced mix between sightseeing and relaxation. Last week in August and the first week in September will see us back in the South of France for a few days before we head off for three nights in a castle in Tuscany. From here it is back to, yes you’ve guessed it, Venice for three nights at the Al Ponte Dei Sospiri Hotel. Then back to the Gulf of St Tropez for another few days before home. This Plan C had better work then as I have some fun still left to do.
This afternoon, I am back at the hospital for a consultation where I get my treatment plan confirmed, so I will pop on here later in the week just to re-confirm that. Meanwhile, smile with me and live with me, by spending your time spotting the fun that time can throw at us!